hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
