Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
