Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
