I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
