Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
