I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
