I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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