dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
