my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
