five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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