what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
