Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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