Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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