I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
