I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
