The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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