So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Randomize
