the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
