Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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