Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
