Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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