you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
