just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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