Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
