so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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