How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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