we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
