Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
