why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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