You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
