Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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