that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
