Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
