McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
