yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
