Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
