theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
