When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it's great music for shaving your balls
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
