I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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