Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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