No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
