Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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