How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
