how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
