i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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