I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
