You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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