I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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