yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
