I'm so fucking centered right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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