I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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