At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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