it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
