God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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