Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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