3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
