I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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