I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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