i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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