Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
