I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize