hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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