I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
