First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
