I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
