Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
