i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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