I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
